


The Element of Surprise

by redlipstickblackdress



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Feels, Children, F/M, Libraries, Mad Science, Mind Control, Sassy Clint, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 09:39:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 21,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1300267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlipstickblackdress/pseuds/redlipstickblackdress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint Barton is sent on a mission to capture a psycho who has discovered an element that makes people go crazy, but the guy gets away, threatening his ex-girlfriend Felicia.  Now Clint's job is to protect this gorgeous woman whose life just got turned upside-down.  Bruce Banner gets involved to help track the element in hopes of capturing the perpetrator, and finds himself smitten with Felicia's roommate, a real-life fairy tale princess (well, okay, a children's librarian).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Barton's Mission

Clint Barton entered the bridge and approached S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury where he stood on a platform above everyone like a child observing the workings of an ant farm. 

“You wanted to see me, sir?” Clint asked. 

“Yes, Agent Barton,” the impressive man confirmed. “I’ve got a mission for you.” Maria Hill handed Clint a file, which he opened to glance at while Fury explained the situation. “Alexander Hoffman. He has recently discovered a new element that causes people to be…let’s just say edgy,” he understated. “He’s calling it Alexium.” 

“Guy’s got a bit of an ego, huh?” 

Clint waved his hand to open a holographic video file – one of the many technological conveniences provided by Tony Stark. The video showed the effects of the element on various people as Alex Hoffman touched them with a rock. He was wearing thick gloves to avoid touching the element himself. Everyone who was exposed to it seemed to be freaking the hell out. One girl started violently tearing up every piece of paper she could get her hands on. A young boy started breaking dishes, to the horror of his trembling parents. There was a woman eating glue and a man banging his head against a wall repeatedly. 

“All of these people have been exposed to this element of Hoffman’s?” Clint asked. 

“Yes. Furthermore, I suspect Hoffman is looking for a way to amplify the effects world-wide.” 

“Why do you think someone would do that? Power trip? Terrorist plot?” 

“Something like that. As I’m sure you can guess, your job is to take him down. I’ll have Banner work on tracking down the element. You just take Hoffman into custody. Coulson will take it from there.” 

“You got it. Will I need backup?” 

“If you run into any trouble, I’ll send Romanoff. I suggest you hurry, Agent Barton.” 

“I’m on it,” Clint said, heading out. He grabbed his quiver, stocking it with a few different types of arrows he thought might come in handy, grabbed his bow, and hopped on a Quinjet. This assignment should be a piece of cake.


	2. Mission Failed

When Barton arrived at the address in Hoffman’s file, he rang the doorbell and then nocked an arrow while he waited for an answer. To his surprise, the door wasn’t answered by Alex Hoffman, but by a woman. She gasped and held up her hands in surrender when she saw that an arrow was being pointed at her. Clint lowered his bow. 

“Sorry…I thought someone else was going to open the door,” he explained. 

“Yeah, well, this isn’t my house, it’s my boyfriend’s. What the hell did he do to piss you off so much? And is the bow and arrow necessary? What’s wrong with a nice, dignified fist fight?” she asked snarkily, raising her eyebrows at his bow and arrow. Clint figured he probably did look a little strange to the average person, but he kind of appreciated this woman’s attitude.   
While she was saying all of this, Clint took a moment to get a good look at who he was dealing with. She was very attractive, with layers of short red hair that flared out around her chin. She was wearing a plush green robe that brought out the green in her hazel eyes, and the robe was open just enough for him to see a hint of cleavage. When she noticed where his gaze was directed, she frowned and brought a hand up to close the robe more tightly. 

“Are you Alexander Hoffman’s girlfriend?” 

“Yeah. He’s in the shower, if you want to talk to him, which I suggest doing before going all gung-ho with your arrows.” 

“Actually, maybe you could help me out,” Clint said. “Are you familiar with the element Alexium?” 

“No, we must have skipped that one in Chemistry class,” she rolled her eyes. 

“It’s just newly been discovered. By your boyfriend.” 

“Right. Look, I think you must have the wrong Alexander Hoffman or something. Alex isn’t a scientist.” 

“He may not be, but I assure you, I’m in the right place.” 

“Who are you, anyway?” she asked. “Didn’t your momma teach you to introduce yourself before threatening people with medieval weapons?” 

“Sorry, I guess I never learned that in the circus,” he said. She raised her eyebrows. Who the hell was this weirdo? “Clint Barton,” he introduced, holding out a leather-gloved hand. She stared at the hand hesitantly for a moment, but finally took it. “Now’s the part where you tell me your name,” he pointed out with a rakish smirk. 

“I don’t think so,” she said. She wished Alex would just come out. The man always took forever in the shower, God knew why. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know, in fact. “Alright, let’s say Alex did find some element. So what?” 

“I think there’s something you should see,” Clint began. He figured showing her would be the easiest way to get her to believe him. He pulled something out of a pocket in his vest, and then waved his hand. A holographic video popped up. 

“Woah…how are you doing that?” she asked, impressed. She looked at the video for a while, then realized that it was Alex in each scene. He kept touching people with something – a rock, it looked like. Each time, the person just went ballistic. “What is this? Where did you get these videos?” 

“I’m not at liberty to say, uh…miss,” Clint said, not sure what to call her since she refused to give him a name. “I know I’m not exactly your best friend right now, but if your boyfriend is using this element to control people, you might be in danger. We also think he might be trying to use it for something bigger, like world domination.” 

“Who is ‘we’?” 

“The Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division. We call it S.H.I.E.L.D.” 

“I’ve never heard of it.” 

“It’s best if it’s kept under wraps. It’s a lot easier to protect the world from harm if people don’t see us coming.” 

“You’re crazy. Alex isn’t trying to take over the world. He’s just a DJ from New Jersey.” 

“Felicia?” Alex finally emerged in a hot pink polo shirt and jeans. “Who’s this?” 

“Some nutjob who thinks you discovered some element,” Felicia answered. 

“Oh, hey!” Alex said. “Are you from a science magazine or something? Yeah, I’m the one who found Alexium,” he said, puffing up his chest boastfully. “I call it Alexium. That’s A-l-e-x-”

“I know how it’s spelled,” Clint rolled his eyes at this tool. “And I’m not from a science magazine.” 

“Wait, you actually discovered an element?” Felicia asked. “And you didn’t tell me this…why?” 

“Aw, don’t be mad, baby. I was going to tell you, I just wanted to see what it did first. I thought we could get some cash out of it. Wait, if this guy’s not from a magazine, who is he?” 

“I’m afraid I’m not somebody you’re going to like very much,” Clint said, nocking an arrow. In an instant, Alex had pulled a gun out of seemingly nowhere and was pointing it at Clint. Felicia, however, was still hung up on the element thing. 

“Let me get this straight. You made a huge scientific discovery and didn’t think to tell your girlfriend because you wanted to wait until you made money off of it? How were you planning on doing that, exactly, since all this rock seems to do is make people act insane?” 

“I was going to make the government give me money. I wouldn’t have actually hurt anyone, just scared them.” 

“Are you kidding me right now?! Oh my God, I can’t believe this. I’m getting my clothes. You two can just stand here with weapons pointed at each other forever, for all I care.” 

“Wait, baby,” Alex begged. Felicia disappeared into a bedroom where she was presumably changing. 

“In case you were wondering, we’re over!” Felicia shouted through the door. A few minutes later, she came out wearing a red top and jeans, and was about to grab her purse when Alex grabbed her from behind and held his gun to her head. 

“You might want to think about whether or not you really want to leave,” he said through gritted teeth. Felicia looked terrified and was struggling against Alex’s arm. 

“You’re going to want to let her go,” Clint said. 

“Yeah? What are you going to do, shoot me with your arrow? If you shoot at me, you’ll just hit her,” Alex taunted. Clint smirked and released an arrow. Felicia screamed. The arrow whizzed past Alex’s ear and hit a fly in mid-air, pinning it to the wall behind Alex’s head. Alex glanced back in disbelief to see the fly under the arrow’s point. 

“You sure about that?” Clint asked, nocking another arrow. “You know, there’s an easy way to do this. You let the pretty girl go and come with me.” 

Alex weighed his options for a minute, then tossed Felicia toward Clint. Felicia grabbed her purse and went straight for the door. 

“You better run!” Alex shouted after her. “I wanted to give you everything and this is how you treat me? I’ll show you, bitch!” Alex shouted as Felicia was leaving. Realizing that Clint wasn’t about to back down, Alex fired a shot, hitting Clint in the shoulder out of sheer luck, which threw the archer off just enough for Alex to run out the door. Clint chased after him but was detained when he ran behind Felicia’s car just as she was backing out. She slammed on the breaks before she hit him, but Alex was nowhere to be seen. Clint ran off to try to hunt him down, and Felicia drove off angrily, tears of anger and fear streaming down her face.


	3. Barton's New Mission

Fury was not happy that Clint had let Hoffman get away. After Clint got his shoulder fixed up, Fury called him in again to give him a run-down of the new situation. 

“Here’s your next assignment,” Fury said, tossing a file down in front of Clint. “Hoffman’s girlfriend.” 

“Ex-girlfriend,” Clint clarified. He’d witnessed the dramatic break-up. 

“Whatever. You said Hoffman threatened her before he escaped. We can’t have civilians getting killed because you let a terrorist run away,” Fury said, sounding disappointed for the tenth time that hour. 

“I got shot,” Clint explained once again. 

“And you’re trained to take a bullet. I’d prefer to send Romanoff in your place, but I’ve seen you in action, so I’m giving you another chance on this assignment. Don’t make me regret it. Protect the girl. If Hoffman comes after her, you capture him and bring him in. Is that clear?” 

“Yes, sir,” Clint said. He wasn’t thrilled about it – he was so obviously not this Felicia chick’s favorite person – but he wasn’t about to let Natasha start taking all his failed missions. How embarrassing. He’d just have to suck it up and get on Felicia’s good side.


	4. Post-Breakup

Felicia’s roommate, Livy, knocked on her bedroom door again. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Livy asked. When Felicia had gotten home, she’d been crying and had told the whole long story to her best friend, and was still pretty upset over the whole thing. 

“Yeah,” Felicia said through the door. Livy opened the door a bit. Felicia was in bed with a bag of potato chips and a bowl of sour cream dip. ‘You’ve Got Mail’ was playing on her TV. Yep, she was upset. 

“Can I get you anything?” 

“A drink?” 

“Sure.” Livy had just handed her friend a glass of cinnamon whiskey when there was a knock on their door. “I’ll be right back,” Livy promised. 

When Livy opened the door, she had no idea who she was expecting, but this certainly wasn’t it. Standing before her was a sinfully handsome guy with the greatest arms she’d ever seen, enhanced by the black vest he was wearing. He had a huge duffel bag on the shoulder that wasn’t bandaged up. 

“Hi…um…hi,” she stammered, running her fingers through her wavy shoulder-length brown hair. 

“Hey,” he smirked. “Does Felicia Dawson live here?” 

“Yeah…come in and have a seat. I’ll let her know you’re here,” she said, smiling dreamily at him while she stepped aside to admit him. She went back into Felicia’s room. “Alright, out of bed,” Livy instructed. “I have just the thing to cheer you up.” 

“What?” 

“The insanely hot guy with incredible arms sitting on the couch,” Livy smiled. “He wants to see you. I can’t believe you’ve been hiding a guy like this from me,” she scolded. 

“Ugh. That is so not what I needed to cheer me up,” Felicia groaned. 

“You don’t like him? Who is he? Should I tell him to leave?” 

“He’s the guy who came to catch Alex.” 

“The archer? You didn’t tell me he’s so hot.” 

“I’m sorry I left out such a crucial detail,” Felicia teased. “Next time someone comes to tell me that my boyfriend is a lie, I’ll make sure to tell you what he looks like. I guess I’d better go talk to him.” 

“Good. He seems very intent on seeing you.” 

“Would you stop? I’m so not into him,” Felicia laughed. She knew Livy just wanted to cheer her up, and was trying her best. Livy always hated to see anyone hurt or sad, and was constantly trying to make other people happy. “Come on, I’ll introduce you.” 

When Felicia and Livy entered the room, Clint stood up. 

“Look, I don’t know where Alex is,” Felicia began. Clint held up his hands to stop her. 

“I know. I believe you.” 

“Then what are you doing here?” she asked, crossing her arms a bit defiantly. He was the guy who had turned her life all topsy-turvy, after all. Livy stood next to Felicia and looked at her expectantly. “Oh, right. Clint, Livy. Livy, Clint.” 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Livy said politely. “Would you like something to drink? Or some cookies? I made some this morning.” 

“Uh…sure,” Clint said. She was wearing a 1950s-style dress and seemed like the type of girl who would be very sad if a guest turned down her cookies. She disappeared into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a plate of cookies and three mugs of hot chocolate. She sat on the couch on the opposite side from Clint while Felicia was in the chair across from him. 

“If you don’t think I know where Alex is, then what exactly are you doing here?” Felicia asked. 

“My superiors think you’re in danger. When you left Hoffman’s house, he was shouting threats at you, and S.H.I.E.L.D. wants to make sure you’re protected. If Hoffman comes after you, we can capture him and take him in before he can harm you,” Clint explained. 

“You’re supposed to protect me?” 

“That’s the idea. I’m hoping I can get an apartment in your building so that I can be close by.” 

“Well, that’s just silly,” Livy said. “Why don’t you just stay here? You can sleep on the couch.” Felicia almost choked on her hot chocolate. 

“Livy, can I speak with you privately for a moment?” Felicia asked pointedly. She dragged her roommate into the kitchen. “You can’t just invite him to stay here without asking me.” 

“I’m sorry…it’s just…he seems really nice. Besides, if someone is threatening you, I know I’d feel a lot better with a guy around here to protect us.”

“Fine. You’re right. Besides, he did have proof about Alex, so I think he’s legitimate.” The girls returned to Clint. “You can stay,” Felicia said reluctantly. 

“If you’re sure, that would make my job a lot easier,” he admitted. 

“Make yourself at home,” Livy offered. “The couch pulls out into a bed and I can get you more blankets.” 

“Thanks,” Clint said. 

Livy insisted on making him dinner, but then she had to go to bed soon after. She was a children’s librarian and the library opened pretty early. Clint offered to do the dishes, since he was imposing on them and all. When Livy was gone, Felicia poured herself another glass of cinnamon whiskey. 

“Want some?” she asked Clint. 

“Sure, but only one. I want to make sure I’m alert in case something happens. Thanks.” They sipped their cinnamon whiskey in the kitchen in awkward silence for a few minutes. “Your roommate is very…hospitable,” he finally said. 

“Oh, yeah. She’s the sweetest person alive, but if you get on her bad side, she’s downright scary. It takes a lot to make that happen, though.” 

“I know a guy like that,” he said, Bruce Banner immediately coming to mind. Maybe he should introduce them. His brain suddenly scolded him. He was there to complete a mission, not to play matchmaker. 

“You don’t want to be here, do you?” Felicia guessed. 

“Why would you think that?” 

“You look different than you did at Alex’s. There you were excited. Now you’re obligated.” 

“I wouldn’t have to be in your life if I’d done my job right the first time,” he explained. 

“You messed up and you’re trying to redeem yourself,” Felicia guessed correctly. 

“I didn’t mess up, I was shot,” he said defensively. Felicia glanced at his bandages. She couldn’t believe Alex had done all of this. She thought she knew who he was, but she clearly didn’t.   
“I’m sorry about your boyfriend,” Clint said sincerely. 

“Ex-boyfriend.”   
“Well, yeah. It sucks for you to have had to find out this way.” 

“It’s good that I found out, though, I guess,” she sighed. “Well, I’m going to bed. As you know, it’s been a long day. You can watch TV if you want. If you want to take a shower, towels are in the closet next to the bathroom. Goodnight.” 

“Thank you. Goodnight.”


	5. Clint Gets the Giggles

When Felicia left her bedroom the next morning, she was not at all prepared to see Clint Barton dripping wet, coming out of the bathroom in nothing but tight jeans and a towel draped over his neck. She stopped in her tracks, unable to tear her eyes away from his perfectly toned torso. Livy would be so upset that she missed this. 

“Good morning,” Clint said. “I made coffee.” 

“Thanks…” Felicia said, secretly grateful. She needed coffee in the morning. She poured them each a cup while he pulled on a dark gray t-shirt. “So, this whole protecting me thing…what does that involve?” 

“I’ll pretty much just be around. You and Alex were pretty close, he knows all the places you’d be. If he comes after you, I’m not going to miss it.” 

“Right. I guess it’s bring your Robin-Hood-wannabe-bodyguard to work day.” 

“I won’t get in your way. What do you do, anyway?” 

“I’m a welder.” 

“Really?”

“Are you bringing your bow and arrow? Because that’s going to attract attention.” 

“My bow folds up,” he said. “I’ll keep it discreet.”

They set off and soon Clint was tucked away in a tree where he could watch Felicia work outside and keep an eye out for any impending trouble. He was surprised at how sexy he found it when she had on her gloves and mask, a blow torch in hand. He had to remind himself to stay focused. Yeah, it had been awhile since he got some, but this was not the time to get all hot and bothered at the first pretty girl he saw. 

The day passed without event. Clint climbed out of his tree and he and Felicia began walking to her car when he noticed something shiny on the ground. He picked it up and approached Felicia. 

“I think your necklace fell off,” he said.   
“Oh, right. Thanks. Alex gave it to me a while ago. I shouldn’t keep wearing it, but it’s become kind of a habit. Besides, I really do like it.” 

Clint lifted it over her head and clipped it around the back of her neck, then went around to the front of her to adjust the stone pendant. 

“Thanks,” she said. Clint smiled in response, and then started laughing. “What?” she asked. He kept laughing. He started laughing harder, like he couldn’t stop. “Good grief,” she said, unlocking the car and preparing for the heat wave that would inevitably burst forth from the car. She hadn’t gotten a shady parking spot that day. “Okay, get in the car, Giggles,” she said. Clint managed to get himself into the passenger seat and close the door. A few moments later, he stopped laughing, as abruptly as he’d started. 

“That was weird,” he said. 

“No kidding,” she agreed, giving him a look. 

“I couldn’t stop. I think that element somehow got to me.” 

“What did you touch?” 

“Nothing. Maybe there are traces of it in the tree I was in. I think I bumped into a guy as we were leaving, maybe he had some. Hey, do you mind if I call someone and invite him over? I think he might be able to help us figure it out.” 

“Uh, sure. But if he ends up having to stay with us, you two can share the pull-out bed. I can only take so many house guests.” 

“Hey, Livy’s the one you need to tell, not me,” Clint pointed out. He dialed a number on his phone. “It’s Barton. I think the Alexium got me. Can you meet me in an hour?” He gave the address and hung up.


	6. A New Houseguest

Felicia was pleased to meet Bruce Banner, a very sweet scientist who seemed to want to help others whenever given the opportunity. He gave Clint a good examination and asked him some questions. However, he couldn’t figure out what had caused the sudden outburst of uncontrollable laughter, or what had stopped it. 

Bruce was invited to stay for dinner and accepted. When they had all finished eating, Bruce offered to do the dishes, for which Felicia graciously thanked him. She and Clint grabbed a couple beers and went to sit on the couch. 

“He’s like a male Livy,” Felicia said, shaking her head. 

“I told you,” Clint nodded. “When does she get home, anyway?” 

“Any minute. I hope she gets here before Bruce leaves. I’m dying to see the two of them in the same room. It’ll be a competition to see who’s nicer.” 

Right on cue, Livy entered. She was wearing a long pink dress with white gloves and a pointy, veiled hat. 

“Hey, guys. Did you save me any dinner?” 

“There’s spaghetti in the fridge,” Felicia said. 

“Thanks. I’m starving.” Right then, Bruce came out of the kitchen and into the living room. He and Livy stared at each other for a moment in surprise. “Oh!” Livy said. “I didn’t know we had company. Hi…I’m Livy.” 

“Bruce,” he introduced politely with a little wave. Clint and Felicia raised eyebrows at each other. 

“Nice dress, Liv,” Clint finally said loudly. Someone needed to ask about the outfit, and it might as well be him. 

“Oh…this. It’s my Princess Penelope outfit. It was Story Time in Princess Penelope’s Castle today. Every…Thursday.” She looked a little embarrassed once she remembered that the costume wasn’t really meant for anyone over the age of twelve. 

“Livy is a children’s librarian,” Felicia explained for Bruce’s benefit. Clint looked amused by all of this. Bruce looked downright charmed. 

“Well, you make a lovely princess,” Bruce said. 

“Thank you,” Livy replied with a smile. Clint briefly explained to Livy who Bruce was and why he was there. She was glad to hear that he was helping out. “Anyway, I suppose I should go put on something less ridiculous,” she said, rushing into her room. 

“I should probably get going,” Bruce said awkwardly. “You can call me any time if you run into the same problem, but depending on where the helicarrier is, it might take me a bit longer to get here.” 

“No, you don’t have to go,” Felicia said. “Now I’m all paranoid about this element, what if it’s something in this apartment, or at my work? We might need you again.” 

“Well, I don’t really have a place to stay around here,” he replied, being honest but looking horribly ashamed to be causing such an inconvenience. “If you know of a hotel nearby, I could be close, but I wouldn’t have any of my equipment.” 

“You can stay here,” Felicia blurted out, having no idea where that had come from. Who was she, Livy? Clint gave her a very obvious look of death. “You could gather up whatever you need from your lab and bring it here. We don’t have a ton of room, but I’d feel better knowing you’re around in case we need you. Weren’t you supposed to be tracking the element? Well, someone in this apartment has been affected, so it has to be something in our lives.” 

“I don’t want to impose,” Bruce hesitated. 

“What’s going on?” Livy asked, coming out of her room in rolled up jeans and a light blue sweater. 

“I’m trying to convince Bruce to stay here,” Felicia said. She knew Livy would be able to get him to stay. For one, the guy was obviously smitten already, and for another, Livy would not take no for an answer when someone was in need. 

“You really should,” Livy said. “Oh, but we only have the couch that folds out into a bed,” she said, looking thoughtful as if this were a problem that could be solved if she just willed it to be. She wanted everyone to be comfortable. 

“I’m not sharing,” Clint said. Felicia slapped his arm. He gave her another glare. 

“You can take my bed, and I’ll sleep on the floor in Felicia’s room,” Livy offered. 

“No, I don’t want to inconvenience you like that,” Bruce said. 

“We have an inflatable mattress somewhere,” Felicia said, solving the problem. 

“That’s perfect,” Bruce said. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I only need a few things from my lab.” 

“We don’t mind at all,” Livy insisted. “I’ll get you some blankets and pillows and we’ll get the mattress set up. Did you get anything to eat?” 

“Livy, I’ll get everything set up for Bruce. Go eat your dinner,” Felicia said. Sometimes she had to force the girl to stop helping others for two seconds so that she wouldn’t starve herself to death. 

Well…this was bound to be interesting.


	7. Sassy Clint

“What was that?” Clint demanded while Livy and Bruce were in the kitchen. She had insisted on giving him some cake to eat while she ate her dinner. Felicia was getting everything set up for Bruce. “He can’t stay here,” he imitated in a high voice. “Oh, you can stay here and bring in all your lab equipment. It’s not inconvenient at all.” He switched back to his normal voice. “Why is he welcome, but you were all cranky when I was invited?” 

“You are the one who came into my life and messed everything up. He’s all mild-mannered and polite. There’s a difference. Besides, I really am starting to get freaked out by all this element stuff. If it helps everything get resolved faster, I’m all for it. Not to mention that he’s obviously into Livy. I don’t know why you care, anyway. You don’t have to share your precious fold-out bed.” 

“I don’t care that much, I was just a little confused why you changed your mind so quickly.” 

“You’re being such a baby,” she said. 

“Am not.” 

“Are too.” 

“I guess he does seem to dig Livy,” he agreed. “I was going to introduce them anyway.” 

“Well, there you go, Cupid. Your wish is my command. Now stop pouting and put those muscular arms to good use,” she said, sitting on the couch with her back to him. “I had a bad day at work.” 

He smirked and started rubbing her shoulders. 

“You like my arms, huh?” 

“I didn’t say that,” she blushed. 

“You think they’re sexy?” 

“No…I didn’t…just stop.” 

Soon, everyone started drifting off to bed. Felicia had no idea what had happened to her life, but she couldn’t decide if she was entirely against it or not.

*****

As usual, Livy was the first person to leave in the morning. She usually worked earlier in the days and got off early, except on Thursdays when she was Princess Penelope. Bruce was the next one to arise. He took a shower, made coffee, and cleaned up the kitchen a bit while Clint was in the shower. Felicia was the last one awake. She was so not a morning person, and liked to get every minute of sleep she could muster in the mornings. She usually showered before bed to make it easier. 

When she came out of her room, she was handed a cup of coffee by Bruce just in time to prepare for wet, shirtless Clint again. This time he noticed her staring, and smirked. He was glad to know that she was as attracted to him as he was to her. 

As Felicia and Clint were leaving for her to go to work, Bruce asked what he could do while they’re gone.

“Anything you want,” Felicia said. “Feel free to look around, see if there’s anything suspicious around in the apartment. You can watch TV, go sightseeing, visit Livy at the library,” she suggested. His face seemed to light up at this suggestion. 

“I’ll check out the apartment, see if I notice anything unusual,” Bruce promised. 

“Thanks. See you later.”


	8. A Library Visitor

“Hi, Miss Livy,” a familiar little girl greeted shyly, coming up to the desk of the children’s section at the library. 

“Hello, Abigail. Did you already read the last five books I gave you? You’re such a fast reader!”

“Can you sign this to give to my teacher?” she asked, giving Livy an orange piece of paper. The nearby school had a program where children could get extra credit or prizes for reading a certain number of pages as confirmed by a parent or librarian. 

“Of course. Here you are. What adventure do you want to go on this time?” 

“A sky adventure!” 

“Hmm…doesn’t your class have a report about a historical figure coming up?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well, try this. It’s about a woman named Amelia Earhart. I think you’ll like it, and you can write about her for your report,” Livy said, kneeling down and giving Abigail a couple of children’s biographies on Earhart. Abigail wrapped her arms around Livy in a hug just as a familiar face turned around the corner. “Hi,” Livy said with a smile. Abigail turned around to look at the newcomer. 

“Who’s that?” 

“This is my friend Bruce. Bruce, this is Abigail,” Livy introduced. Bruce obviously had some experience talking to children. He squatted down until he was face-to-face with Abigail and spoke to her like an equal, which most adults didn’t know how to do. 

“Hi, Abigail. It’s nice to meet you.” 

“What do you do, Bruce?” Abigail asked politely. She often sounded just like a miniature grown-up. 

“I’m a scientist,” he told her. She gasped and her eyes lit up. She leaned in very close, and whispered,

“Are you like Dr. Jekyll?” Abigail was a big Robert Louis Stevenson fan. 

“Uh…yeah. I’m a lot like Dr. Jekyll, actually,” Bruce said. And I’m my very own Mr. Hyde, too, he thought bitterly to himself. Abigail turned back to Livy and motioned for her to get closer. Livy leaned in, and Abigail whispered, although still loudly enough for Bruce to hear, 

“I like him.” 

“Come on, I’ll check you out,” Livy told her, and they all walked to the checkout counter. Right on time, Abigail’s mom came to pick her up, thanking Livy. Abigail walked to the library almost every day after school, something Livy herself did as a child. 

“She’s great,” Bruce told Livy when the kid was gone. 

“Yeah, she’s amazing. It’s always great to see who the true readers are. Abigail believes in books as much as I do, which is really why I do what I do.” 

“Livy, isn’t it time for you to go to lunch?” one of the other librarians said pointedly, gesturing to Bruce. The woman obviously was hinting that Livy should take an hour off and hang out with the cute guy who had come to see her. 

“Right. Yes. I’ll be back,” she said, grabbing her sweater and purse. “I guess it’s my lunch time. Have you eaten yet?” 

“No,” Bruce said honestly. 

“Then you should join me.” 

They walked to a diner and ordered burgers. 

“Thank you for helping us with this whole situation,” Livy said. “This whole thing with Alex is really weird, and it’s good to know that there are people like you and Clint keeping an eye out for stuff like this. I don’t know what I’d do if that creep did something to Felicia, not to mention that he’d be willing to put anyone at risk with that element. I’ve read a lot of books about science getting into the wrong hands, so now that I’m living it, I’m pretty glad to have you around.” 

“I know exactly what you mean,” Bruce said. “I’ve been on the other side of it before. I’m happy to help.” 

“Am I allowed to ask about the accident?” Livy asked shyly. 

“How did you find out?” Bruce asked. 

“I Googled you,” she admitted. “I did it for Clint, too. I may invite almost anyone to spend the night, but I thought I should at least make sure you two weren’t on America’s Most Wanted or something.” 

Bruce explained his whole story from beginning to end: the attempt to re-create Dr. Erskine’s super soldier formula, the accidental blast of gamma radiation, the discovery that he was a monster, his isolation abroad, and his return to America to assist S.H.I.E.L.D. in The Avengers Initiative. 

“I wanted to make the world a better place, and the next thing I knew I was hurting people and making a huge mess,” he said darkly. 

“Well, you’re making the world a better place now…and you seem to have pretty good control over…” 

“The other guy?” She nodded. “I try to keep him locked up,” he confirmed. 

They continued talking, the topic of conversation drifting to the Alexium element, until Livy had to get back to work. Bruce went back to the apartment and tried to search for the element, but since it was still so unfamiliar, he wasn’t entirely sure what he should be looking for or what he should be tracing.


	9. A Relaxing Evening

After work, Felicia said she wasn’t feeling like going home, so she and Clint went to a sports bar for happy hour beer and appetizers. Soon they were munching on a sampler platter and sipping out of big mugs. 

Clint told her about his past as a circus kid and how he’d ended up at S.H.I.E.L.D. He had some events in his past he wasn’t crazy about, but he didn’t feel the need to hide them. Meanwhile, Felicia told him about how she’d met Alex and gotten involved with him. 

“Livy never liked him. I should have listened to her. Still, when I told her about what happened, she didn’t say ‘I told you so’ or anything.” 

“Well, yeah. You’re her best friend. Even if she knew he was bad news, that doesn’t mean she wanted to be right. She wouldn’t want to see you get hurt.” 

“Yeah, I still feel like an idiot, though.” 

“Don’t. We all have those exes, trust me. I work with mine. She’s the one who almost took my assignment when I screwed it up. The whole thing’s behind us and she’s a great agent. I’m glad to have her on my team, and we’re good friends. But man, was that relationship a horrible idea. Almost got me killed a couple times.” 

The conversation continued like this for hours. They sat in the sports bar and had several drinks, talking like old friends and forgetting how much time was passing. 

*****

When Livy got home, Bruce was the only one there. 

“Felicia and Clint aren’t back yet? They must have gone out for dinner after she got off work.” 

Livy and Bruce worked together to make a homemade pizza. They spent the evening tossing dough, getting flour everywhere, making sauce, shredding cheese, and slicing vegetables. They finally layered everything on the dough and got it in the oven. 

When it was done, they let it cool and then took it over to the couch, and ate it while watching a Twilight Zone marathon on TV. Felicia and Clint didn’t get home until fairly late.


	10. The Element's Effect

As soon as they walked through the door, Felicia and Clint noticed Livy and Bruce asleep on the couch, her legs across his lap. 

“They’re asleep on my bed,” Clint said. Felicia shushed him and pulled him into her room. “What?”

“Don’t wake them up, they’re adorable.” 

“Well, where am I supposed to sleep?” he wanted to know. Felicia kicked off her shoes and removed her jewelry, setting it on top of her dresser. Then she turned to him suddenly. 

“You can sleep in here with me,” she said seductively, going back over to him. 

“What?” he asked, taken aback. She responded by grabbing him by the back of the head and kissing him. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her, kissing her back, and she walked them over to the bed. They were laying on their sides making out with their arms wrapped around each other, when Clint suddenly realized what was going on and abruptly pushed her away. 

“Woah, woah, woah. What’s going on here?” 

“I want you,” she said, pulling her shirt off over her head and tossing it away. 

“Oh boy,” Clint breathed, unable to tear his eyes away from her black bra. “No!” he told himself out loud. “Felicia, you just broke up with your boyfriend a couple of days ago. I understand you might want a rebound guy, but this is not the way to feel better.” 

“Shhh,” she said, putting a finger to his lips. She started kissing down his neck while running a hand up his thigh. 

“Shit,” Clint said, feeling his excitement growing. “No, no no no…oh! I think I know what’s going on here. Felicia…I think you’ve been whammied by the element.” 

“Stop talking,” she said, pulling his t-shirt over his head and sucking on his collarbone. He sighed and his head fell back against the pillow. Her hand had gotten to the very top of his thigh and was now on a different part of his anatomy. He moaned and pulled her back up to capture her mouth again, but then mustered all of his self-control and stopped himself. 

“Felicia, it’s not that I don’t want to,” he said, pushing her away while she continued trying to grab at him. “Stop it! It’s not that I don’t want to, but this isn’t you. It’s the element that’s making you want to sleep with me. You’re very…very hot, but I’m not going to take advantage of you like that.” She didn’t seem to be listening to him, just straddled him and started kissing his chest. “Why do I have to be a good person?” he asked, knowing she wasn’t paying attention. “Bruce! BRUCE! Get in here and help me!” 

Bruce burst into the room, then stared in shock at the sight. Felicia had turned to see who had interrupted. Clint was lying on his back on the bed, shirtless. Felicia was straddling him wearing jeans and a bra. 

“Uh…you don’t look like you need me here…” Bruce said, looking away politely. Livy appeared behind him and looked around his shoulder. 

“What’s going on—woah,” she said, taking in what was going on. 

“Don’t just stand there, get her off of me!” Clint demanded. “I think the element got to her, she keeps trying to rip my clothes off and have her way with me.” 

“You do know she thinks you’re sexy, right?” Livy asked, raising her eyebrows. 

“Yeah, but she—wait, she does? –stop it!” Felicia was trying to undo his belt. Clint managed to get her off of him enough so that he could get off the bed. He ran to the doorway and hid behind Bruce. 

“Come back,” she begged, walking toward him. When she noticed Bruce in the doorway, she put her hands on his ass and pulled him close to her. “Hi, Bruce,” she said. 

“No, no no,” Bruce said, turning bright red and pushing her away. “You just…stay in here, Felicia. Clint will be right back.” 

“What?!” 

Bruce closed the door, hoping Felicia would stay inside while they figured out what to do. 

“Did she touch anything unusual?” Bruce asked. 

“Well, she kind of grabbed my…you know.” 

“I meant in the room. In the apartment. While you were out. Anything that might have been the element?” 

“Oh, right. Not that I can think of.” 

“Well, what are we going to do?” Livy asked. 

“I wasn’t going to take advantage of her, but she clearly needs to, uh, relieve some…urges. What we need is a guy with questionable morals.”


	11. Tony is Happy

“Glad you could come, Tony,” Clint said, opening the door to Tony Stark. 

“Where’s the girl who needs to get laid?” he asked. 

“Why won’t anyone have sex with me?” Felicia shouted through the door. 

“That’s my cue.” 

Clint led Tony to the door of Felicia’s room and opened it, shoving Tony inside. 

“Felicia, this is Tony. He’s the billionaire who owns Stark Tower and a friend of mine.” 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Felicia said, then pulled Tony’s mouth down to hers. Tony was surprised, but definitely not complaining as he shoved the door closed. 

“Well, that takes care of that,” Clint said. 

“You know, you could have done it,” Livy said. “She’s totally attracted to you, no matter how much she denies it.” 

“Maybe, but it wouldn’t feel right.” 

“You’re a great guy, Clint. Anyway, unless we want to listen to a rather interesting soundtrack for the rest of the evening, I suggest we leave,” Livy pointed out. “Is anyone up for ice cream?” 

“I need to take a walk,” Clint said. “I need some fresh air.” 

“Ice cream sounds good to me,” Bruce said. Soon, they were out of the apartment. 

*****

Tony and Felicia collapsed onto the bed, tongues exploring each other’s mouths. She still had her shirt off from when she was trying to seduce Clint, and she pulled Tony’s long-sleeve t-shirt over his head quickly. 

“What’s this?” she asked, tapping on the glowing metal circle in his chest as her mouth kissed down his neck. 

“It’s called an arc reactor,” he said, his hands roaming over her torso as he enjoyed the feeling of her lips on his skin. “There’s a bunch of shrapnel trying to embed itself in my heart. This stops it.” 

“Is it weird if I find it kind of hot?” she asked, gasping as he bit her earlobe. 

“Maybe, but I’m kind of into weird,” he assured her, kissing down her sternum and across her cleavage. Their mouths met again and they quickly worked on ridding each other of their jeans. When this was done, Felicia suddenly stopped kissing Tony. 

“Well, that’s weird,” she said. “I think the element’s effect wore off.” 

“Well, that’s lame. So…you don’t want to keep going?” Tony asked, looking disappointed. 

“I probably shouldn’t,” she said, not entirely sure. Tony gave her one more kiss and turned to get out of bed, but she took a deep breath and stopped him. “Wait.” 

“Yes?” 

“I recently got out of a bad relationship, I just got affected by a rock that apparently makes me horny, and I could go for a noncommittal hookup that means absolutely nothing and won’t make me an emotional wreck. Are you up for that?” 

“Noncommittal is my middle name,” he said. “Actually, it’s Edward, but it should be Noncommittal because I’m…well…noncommittal.” 

“Shut up and get back over here,” she said. Tony rolled back on top of her and captured her lips again, reaching under her to unhook her bra. Their hands began wandering frantically again, and soon they were pulling at their last remaining garments and Felicia was hoping that Livy’d had the good sense to usher the guys out of the apartment for a couple hours.


	12. Tree Sitting and Ice Cream

Clint took a long walk, and eventually found a good tree to climb. He liked to be up high. It gave him perspective, it was a good place to think, no one bothered him, and he could keep an eye on the world. It bothered him more than he liked to admit that Tony was sleeping with Felicia at that exact moment. Yes, it had been his idea, and yes, it was the best option at the moment, but he still couldn’t help wishing it was him in there with her. 

Sure, he’d done the right thing. He would probably have hated himself afterward if he’d done it. But maybe she did need some rebound sex. 

That was the thing, though. He didn’t want to be her rebound guy. 

He’d only known her for a few days. It was ridiculous to even think she’d be interested in him. He was the guy who had shown her incriminating videos of her boyfriend and turned her life upside down. The boyfriend she was perfectly happy with, before he came along. Why the hell would she want him? 

Why did he even like her so much, anyway? He barely knew her, and she didn’t seem to love having him around all that much, yet here he was having sappy fantasies about holding her hand while window-shopping and a bunch of other cheesy romantic comedy crap, while Stark was getting some. 

I’m such a loser, he thought to himself. I let some douche from New Jersey get away when it should have been an easy mission, my ex-girlfriend almost got my failed assignment, and now I’m all infatuated with the girl I’m supposed to be protecting and she’s in bed with a billionaire while I’m pining for her in some stupid tree.

He would just have to stay focused and keep his eyes on his work. Enough with the distractions. He couldn’t forget why he was there. All he had to do was stop thinking about her smile and her hazel eyes. 

*****

Bruce and Livy had found an ice cream stand and each got a cone, enjoying the warm night as they also walked around. 

“All this stuff with this element is so weird. Clint can’t stop laughing. Felicia…well, you saw. It makes me wonder what would happen if I came into contact with it.” 

“Maybe you wouldn’t be able to stop dancing,” he said with sparks of a smile in his brown eyes. 

“Maybe I’d get really hungry and eat everything in the kitchen,” she joked. 

“Maybe you’d tell everyone exactly what you think of them, no matter how good or bad,” he surmised. 

“Oh, jeez. I hope it’s not that. I’d probably give a few people an ego boost, although I definitely have some choice words for Alex Hoffman.” 

“Would you tell Clint that he snores?” he asked. 

“I didn’t know he does,” she laughed. “I’d tell Clint that his crush on Felicia is not subtle and I’d tell Felicia to give him a chance because he’s a good guy.” Bruce hesitated for a moment, and then asked shyly, 

“What do you think of me?” Then his cheeks turned red. “Maybe I shouldn’t ask that,” he hastily said. 

“I think you’re thoughtful,” she began, thinking through her answer carefully, “and kind, and…sad. And scared,” she finished, unsure if he was going to be happy with that honest answer or not. “You’re too hard on yourself, Bruce. You need to remember to look at yourself without letting the other guy block your view. Sorry, I shouldn’t get so personal; I don’t know you that well. I didn’t mean to get all up in your business.” 

“No, you’re right,” he said. “It’s nice to have someone see me the way I remember myself…before the other guy came along.” 

“You’re not him,” she pointed out. “Your turn.”

“My turn?” 

“I told you what I see when I look at you. I want to know what I look like to Bruce Banner.” He looked a little afraid of this challenge, but took a minute to collect his thoughts, finally sharing them while he looked around at the trees and buildings that were illuminated by street lights. 

“You’re imaginative and caring. You look for the best part of everything. You believe in people, and want them to believe in themselves. You’re more beautiful than you think you are, and you feel bad about things you can’t control.” When he looked at her again, he could see tears in her eyes. “Oh, god. I made you cry,” he said, looking embarrassed. 

“No…I mean, I guess you did, but…do you really think that?” 

“Yes,” he said, looking like he wasn’t sure if she was going to burst into sobs or not. What she did instead was wrap her arms around his neck, carefully making sure she didn’t get her ice cream on him as she hugged him. He hesitated, then put a hand on her back. After a moment, she took a step back. 

“Sorry, that was just a really nice thing to say.” Bruce smiled shyly, then looked like he was about to start laughing, but held it back. “What?” He unwrapped the napkin from around his ice cream cone and wiped it down her nose. “Oh,” she blushed. 

“I wonder where Clint went,” Bruce mused, changing to subject to get Livy’s mind off of her embarrassment. 

“I have no idea. I’m sure he’s fine. He knows his way around. Hopefully we’ll be out long enough to avoid any awkwardness at the apartment. I really hope we find that element soon. It’s really unsettling knowing that something like that is just out there. Who knows what it could do? Not to mention that creep Alex is just lurking around somewhere. Anyway, we can probably go back now. If we hear any weird noises when we get there, we can always leave again.”


	13. Clint Feels

They returned to the apartment to find that Tony was just leaving. Bruce took a shower and got ready for bed while Livy got the skinny from Felicia, double-checking that she was okay. Clint didn’t return until long after everyone else was in bed, leaving Felicia to wonder if he was alright until she finally heard the door close when he came in. 

Climbing out of bed, she tiptoed quietly out of her room so she wouldn’t wake up Bruce while he was asleep on the air mattress. 

“Come here,” she whispered to Clint, gesturing toward her room. 

“Why? You’re not going to grope me again, are you?” he whispered back. 

“Shh! Just come on. I just want to talk.” 

Clint shrugged and followed her into her room, closing the door behind them. 

“What’s up?” 

“I just wanted to thank you for not, you know…sleeping with me earlier. Some guys would have taken advantage of the situation. I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate it.” 

“Oh. Yeah, no problem. I hope Stark was…adequate.” 

“He was exactly what I needed. Thanks.” 

Of course he was, Clint thought. Thank goodness you didn’t sleep with me. God forbid that happen. That would have been terrible, right? 

“Good, I’m glad. Well, ‘night.” 

“Are you okay?” she asked. He was acting kind of weird. 

“Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know. Never mind. Goodnight.”


	14. Feelings Are Discussed

The next couple of weeks were pretty much more of the same. Clint was distant with Felicia. He tried to stay focused on his job, hoping to wrap it up quickly so that he wouldn’t have to see Felicia any more. Meanwhile, Bruce and Livy were spending a lot of time together. He visited her at the library a lot, they sat at the kitchen table and talked for hours, and sometimes went on walks. Livy noticed that Clint and Felicia were pretty awkward around each other, but she figured it was something that needed to be sorted out between them. Other than being bothered by that, she loved spending time with Bruce and really liked him. She had no idea if he liked her in the same way, but she hoped he did and that he would make a move soon. 

Finally, one night everyone was watching a late-night talk show on TV. Or rather, Bruce and Livy were watching it in the middle of the couch, sharing a blanket, while Clint and Felicia were on either side of them, leaning on the armrests and looking bored. 

“I’m going to go get a beer,” Clint said, getting up. 

“Could you get me one too, while you’re in there?” Felicia asked hesitantly. 

“I’m not here to be your servant,” he snapped. Felicia looked pretty hurt and Livy thought she almost saw her tearing up. 

“Never mind,” she said, going into her room and closing the door. Clint looked like he felt bad, but just turned to go into the kitchen. Livy and Bruce exchanged a look. 

“I’ll be right back,” she said, following Clint into the kitchen. She heard him muttering to himself inaudibly. He turned and saw her, stopping in his tracks. “Alright. What’s going on with you and Felicia?” 

“Nothing,” he said truthfully. 

“Try again,” she insisted. Clint sighed and popped his beer open. 

“Is it obvious?” he asked. Livy didn’t have to ask what he meant. He was referring to his feelings for Felicia. 

“I’ve figured it out, but I don’t think she knows.” 

“Then let’s keep it that way,” he grumbled. 

“Look, whether or not you tell Felicia how you feel is up to you, but you need to talk to her. She considers you a friend and she has no idea why you’re mad at her.”

“I’m not mad at her,” he said. 

“Well, it’s kind of difficult for her to know that when you barely talk to her and refuse to make eye contact. Don’t even get me started on the fact that she likes you too, but you’re both too chicken to admit it.” 

“Fine, I’ll go talk to her,” Clint finally surrendered. They left the kitchen and Livy re-joined Bruce on the couch while Clint went to Felicia’s bedroom door. He knocked softly on it. “Felicia?”   
No answer. “It’s Clint,” he started, as if she couldn’t figure that out. “Felicia, can you open the door?” 

Livy and Bruce looked at each other and decided that they should be somewhere else. They turned off the TV and headed out for a walk so that Clint and Felicia could sort out their problems without an audience. 

“Please can you come out?” Clint asked softly through the door. Felicia opened the door, walked past him without looking at him, and flopped back onto the couch. He could tell she had been crying a minute ago. He sat down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it away. “Look, Felicia…I’m sorry. I was a jerk a few minutes ago, and I’ve been kind of a douche lately.” She sniffled and turned to look at him finally. 

“What did I do to you?” she asked. 

“You didn’t do anything,” he told her. “I guess I was just jealous of Stark.” 

“Why in the world would you be jealous of Tony? And what does that have to do with me?” 

“Because you and he…you know…and you were all relieved that it wasn’t with me.” 

“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that…when the Alexium affected me in that way, I started thinking. What if Alex was using it on me all throughout our relationship? He could have been using it to get his way the whole time. You could have used me like that, but you didn’t, and it meant a lot to me that you respected me more than that.” 

“Well, yeah,” he said, surprised. “It’s not that I don’t want to…but if it was going to happen, I didn’t want it to happen like that. Not that it matters, since you don’t see me that way, which is totally fine, it just…hurts a little.” 

“You can’t really think that,” she said, looking down into her lap. 

“Don’t you like Stark? You said he was exactly what you needed.” 

“Oh, that’s what you…Clint, he was what I needed that night. Some rock had made me all horny, and I was in the rebound phase, and I needed a no-strings hookup with someone I have no emotional attachment to. It couldn’t have been like that with you.” 

“Wait…are you saying that…you’re kind of into me?” he asked, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth? 

“If I’m honest, I think I’ve been kind of into you since I opened Alex’s door to find you pointing an arrow at my head.” 

“I knew it! I knew you had the hots for me that day,” he said triumphantly. She rolled her eyes.

“Wow, your humility is really a turn-on,” she said sarcastically. However, he was so busy gloating that he didn’t hear this. 

“Even though you were being all snarky, I could tell.” 

“Me? You were the one openly trying to look down my robe,” she pointed out. 

“I couldn’t help it if you were almost falling out—why am I even still talking?” With that, he put a hand on the back of her head and diligently occupied her lips with his. She kissed him back, her hands sliding up and down his chest, feeling his muscles through his t-shirt, until they couldn’t breathe and had to take a break. She leaned into his side while his fingers played with her hair. 

They turned the TV back on and watched it for a while, eventually kissing again until they collapsed back onto the couch. When Livy and Bruce finally came back, they were spooning on the couch, fast asleep. 

“I guess they made up,” Livy whispered. They didn’t want to wake them up, so Livy dragged Bruce’s air mattress into her room for the night, and they stayed up late talking for hours until he fell asleep on her floor.

At around 2:30am, Felicia woke up, realizing that she had fallen asleep on the couch. She thought about moving to her room, but she didn’t want to wake Clint up and was also quite content cuddling with him, so she just kissed his arm and fell back asleep for the rest of the night.


	15. Girl Talk

The next day, Livy had demanded that Felicia update her on what was going on. Felicia told her friend about the conversation between her and Clint. 

“Enough about that. What’s the deal with you and Bruce?” 

“There isn’t a deal. We’re just friends.” 

“Right,” Felicia said skeptically. 

“Well, I’d like to be more, but he hasn’t really shown any signs of wanting to change things.” 

“No, he’s shown the signs, trust me. But sadly, that is not the same thing as actually making a move. He needs to get his shit together.” 

“I think he’s a little bit scared that the Hulk will screw things up for him.” 

“Well, you don’t care about the Hulk thing. He should accept that and get the show on the road before someone else snatches you up.” 

“Right, I’ll just choose from one of my other many invisible suitors.” 

Felicia threw a pillow at her friend. 

During this time, the guys were bro-chatting in the living room.


	16. Bruce Makes a Move

“Hey Felicia, can I borrow your brush? I can’t find mine,” Livy asked about a week later. 

“Yeah, it’s on top of my dresser,” Felicia said from her position cuddling with Clint on the couch. Everyone was sort of getting ready to relax for the night, and were all in their pajamas.   
Livy went into Felicia’s room, going to the dresser to look for the brush. She noticed the necklace Alex had given Felicia sitting there. She hadn’t been wearing it as much since she and Clint had gotten together, which made sense. Livy couldn’t help but think it was almost sad, though. It really was a pretty necklace, she thought, running a finger over the stone on the pendant.   
When Livy came out of Felicia’s room, she had the hairbrush in one hand and had tears streaming down her face. 

“Livy? What’s wrong?” Felicia asked. 

“I don’t know!” she sobbed. “I just started crying!” 

“Come here, it’s okay,” Felicia said, pulling her over to the couch and giving her a hug. “You just need to calm down. What happened?” 

“Nothing…happened,” she said between crying and trying to breathe. 

“Hey, you don’t think it’s the element?” Clint said. 

“Livy, did you touch anything?” Felicia asked. She looked at the brush in Livy’s hand. “You don’t think it’s in the brush, do you?” Felicia asked the guys. 

“It can’t be. I’ve never touched your hairbrush, and it affected me while we were coming back from your job,” Clint pointed out. 

“Did you touch anything else, Livy? I think the element got to you.” 

“I don’t know…it could be anything in your room. I admired a bunch of your jewelry and that pretty picture frame you have...I…I…” she said, gasping as tears were pouring down her cheeks. 

“Shh, it’s okay. Go lay down, maybe it’ll make you feel better.” 

Livy nodded and shuffled into her room, closing the door and collapsing onto the bed, pulling the covers over her head as she cried into her pillow. Out in the living room, Bruce was just kind of standing there looking at Livy’s door as if concerned. 

“Dude. Go in there and comfort her,” Clint ordered. “I can tell you want to, and we all know she wants you to.” 

“It’s true,” Felicia agreed. 

“I’ll, uh…get her some water,” Bruce said, disappearing into the kitchen. He came back with a full glass of water and knocked on Livy’s door before opening it and closing it behind him.   
“Livy? I brought you some water,” Bruce said softly, going over to her bed. She sat up, sniffling, and sipped the water while Bruce sat on the bed next to her and rubbed her back. When she had finished the water, she laid back on the bed, still crying, unable to stop. Not knowing what else to do, Bruce lifted the covers and got in next to her, stroking her hair. She curled into his chest and he put his arms around her. 

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I know nothing is wrong, but I can’t stop.” 

“It’s alright,” he said. “Just don’t talk until it goes away. It will make it easier to breathe.” 

She continued crying for a few minutes, then it stopped as suddenly as it had started. She lifted her head to look at Bruce, still sniffling. 

“It’s gone,” she said, wiping tears away. She propped herself up on her elbows next to him while he was laying on his back looking up at her. He was still rubbing her arm gently, though, just for good measure. 

“Well, now we know how the element affects you,” he pointed out, looking on the bright side.

“It could be worse,” she said. 

“It could be a lot worse,” he agreed. “But I still didn’t like seeing you like that.” 

Her hands went to her face and she gasped. 

“I didn’t even think about that. I must look terrible,” she sighed. 

“I meant I didn’t like seeing you upset,” he clarified. “You look beautiful.” 

“So, you like the puffy eyes and tear-stained face?” she giggled, appreciating the compliment, but not believing it. 

“I like you,” he corrected. 

“Really? Even when I’m red and splotchy?” Bruce just smiled at how ridiculous she was being and put his free hand on the side of her face. 

“Livy…I’m going to kiss you now,” he informed her. 

“Okay,” she said with a smile as he brought her lips down to his. They kissed for several minutes, and Livy’s stomach was filled with happy butterflies. He did like her! Finally, his lips left hers and she rested her head contentedly onto her pillow as she looked at him. 

“You,” he said, touching her nose with his finger, “need to get some sleep.” He knew she had to wake up early the next morning for work. 

“I guess you’re right,” she said, not wanting to put an end to the kissing. She pressed one last kiss to his lips, then turned around so that her back was to him, pulling his arm around her. 

“Goodnight,” he said. They were asleep within moments.


	17. Meanwhile, On the Couch

Meanwhile, Clint and Felicia were still cuddled up on the couch watching a movie, or rather, making out with a movie playing. Finally, Felicia released his lips and glanced at Livy’s door. 

“Do you think she’s okay? Maybe you should go check.”

“Why do I have to check?” 

“I don’t want to get up,” she said honestly. “Besides, it suddenly got quiet. What if they’re making out in there?” 

“They’re not making out,” he scoffed. 

“How do you know?” 

“Because Banner doesn’t have the guts to make a move, and I highly doubt Livy does,” Clint said. 

“Says the man who handled his feelings for me by being a complete ass.” 

“I wasn’t a complete ass. I was like, three-quarters of an ass cheek, tops.”

“You are so weird. Just go look.” 

“I don’t want to.” 

“Fine, you baby, I’ll look,” Felicia said. She listened at the door for a minute, and then opened it slowly. She couldn’t help but smile at what she saw, then quietly closed the door and got back on the couch. “They’re spooning.” 

“No way. Really? Why are they spooning?” 

“I don’t know, Clint, why in the world would two people who like each other be cuddling?” 

“So, Banner actually made a move? I’m impressed.” 

“Maybe Livy did,” Felicia said defiantly. Clint raised his eyebrows at her. “Yeah, you’re right, it was Bruce. Anyway, I’m going to take a shower.”

“Can I come?” 

“No.” 

“Doesn’t hurt to ask,” he said. While she took a shower, he stripped down to his boxer briefs and crawled into her bed, where he had been sleeping since they’d gotten together. When she got in next to him, she laid on her side and ran a finger over his chest. 

“I hope we figure all of this out soon,” she said. “I hate being afraid to touch anything in my own apartment.” 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ll get it all finished soon.” 

“Then what will happen? Will you leave?” 

“No, I won’t leave. I promise.” 

“Good,” she said, closing her eyes.


	18. Abigail's Thoughts

When Abigail went to the library after school one day the following week, she saw Dr. Bruce leaning over the counter and kissing Miss Livy. 

“Miss Livy, is Dr. Bruce your boyfriend?” she asked. 

“Yes,” Livy said, giving Bruce a smile. 

“Well, this is a new dynamic that I’m going to have to get used to,” Abigail said, as if this were a huge burden to bear. Psychology was clearly her study topic of choice for the week. The girl was quite the learning enthusiast. “But I think you’ve made a good choice,” she informed her librarian. 

“I’m glad you think so, Abigail.” 

“Liv!” Clint boomed, making a couple of studious college students shush him. “Felicia and I stopped by hoping all four of us could go to lunch.” 

“Who is that with Felicia?” Abigail asked. 

“That’s her boyfriend, Clint.” 

“You are introducing too many new people into my life at once,” she said, then leaned in to whisper, “but you have a lot of handsome friends.” 

“Ask her something,” Felicia whispered to Clint. 

“Like what?” 

“Anything. Just trust me.” 

“Abigail. What are your thoughts on unicorns?” Clint asked very seriously, squatting down and looking her in the eyes. 

“Cartoons make them look really sweet, but I find that hard to believe. I wouldn’t be sweet if I had a jousting lance growing out of my face. I think they’d be pretty good in a war, but I think them living in a castle in the clouds is a myth,” Abigail answered after a few moments of thought. Clint nodded in agreement. “Oh, my mom’s here,” Abigail said, and scampered off. 

“That. Is the best. Kid. Ever.” Clint said. 

“I know, right?” Livy replied. “The other day, we discussed her zombie survival strategy. She said she would steal all the human brains from biology labs and morgues to distract the zombies so that she could get away while they’re stuffing their faces.” 

Thus began the first double-date of the group.


	19. Clint Gets Some

Clint and Felicia had been together for almost a month, and still hadn’t slept together yet. Although they both wanted to, and although it had come close before, it never seemed like the right time. 

They had decided to walk together to Felicia’s work one morning when the day seemed particularly beautiful. However, by the time she got off work, the weather had changed drastically, and dark, ominous clouds had shrouded the previously bright blue sky. Just as they began walking home, a thick, heavy rain began pouring down. 

By the time they made it back to the apartment they were soaked completely through and a bit on the chilly side. They burst through the apartment door and went into Felicia’s room with the intention of changing clothes. However, as soon as the door was closed, something happened between them. Felicia looked at Clint. Clint looked at Felicia. Somehow, they both just knew. The right time had come.

One second they were staring at each other, and the next second they were kissing eagerly and passionately. There had been no in-between, no leading up to it, they went from gazing to kissing in the blink of an eye. She hated to have to release his lips long enough to peel his wet black t-shirt off, but as soon as it was over his head she could feel his warm mouth on hers again. He had the more time-consuming task of undoing all of the buttons down the front of her dark green shirt; he got two undone before he decided it was taking too long and ripped the rest of the shirt open. He knew Felicia really liked that shirt, but he needed her now. He could buy her a new shirt. Or he could sweet-talk Livy into sewing the buttons back on. It didn’t matter. Felicia certainly didn’t seem to be complaining. 

She wrapped her legs around his waist so that he could walk them over to the bed, laying her down as he came down on top of her, tongues getting to know each other all over again. Clint’s mouth left hers to capture her earlobe. She made a rather impassioned noise and immediately began undoing his jeans, using some extra strength to push them off of his hips since the denim was made heavier from being soaked with water. His boxer briefs came off with the jeans. There was no need to use extra time to remove them separately.   
The heat of Clint’s mouth against her cold neck was possibly the sexiest sensation ever, and it got even sexier when his lips moved their way down to her cleavage as he unhooked her bra. As his tongue began to work its way lower down her chest, she hastened to move the show along by undoing her own jeans. However, Clint pushed her hands out of the way and finished the job himself, copying her earlier method of peeling off jeans and underwear in one motion. 

It wasn’t long before the main event took place. 

Afterwards, they decided that if they wanted to be remotely presentable by the time Bruce and Livy got there, they should wash off all the rain and sweat. They hopped into the shower together and engaged in some activities that made them clean, and some that did not, until they finally had managed to get themselves washed, dried, and dressed again.


	20. Felicia Gets a Scare

It had been just long enough since Alex had left Felicia’s life for her to get complacent about his threats to her. She no longer worried about it. Clint was always around, she was with him and had never been happier, and there hadn’t been any new incidents with the element in a while. She had just started to think that the whole thing was just going to blow over. 

That’s when the whole thing bubbled to the surface again. 

When she saw an unknown number on her cell phone caller ID, she figured it might be a customer or something. Her cell phone number was on all of her welding shop’s business cards and advertisements, so it wasn’t unusual for her to get calls from unfamiliar numbers. 

“Hello?” she answered brightly. 

“Hey, baby. Miss me?” 

“Alex?” she asked, surprised. Clint, who was sitting next to her, sat up straighter and looked at her face. 

“Is your new boyfriend listening in?” he sneered. 

“How did you even know about that?” 

“Oh, I’ve had an eye on you this whole time, babe. I used to be the one you got all hot for.” 

“I know you were using that stupid rock on me during our whole relationship. But then again, that’s the only way you can get laid, isn’t it?” she retorted. 

“I didn’t need it as much as you think. It sure didn’t take long for you to spread your legs for someone else, though. Will you fuck anything, or am I supposed to believe he’s special?”

“He’s the opposite of you, so I’d say he’s pretty great.” 

“You know what? I’m glad you’re with someone else. It makes my job easier. Now I have options. I can hurt you, I can hurt him, or if I’m not feeling very generous, I can get you both.”   
Felicia didn’t have an answer to this. “Watch your back,” he said darkly, then hung up. Felicia hung up her phone and set it on the coffee table. 

“What did he say?” Clint asked. 

“Nothing. He’s just trying to scare me,” she said bravely. 

“Felicia, what did he say?” His voice had grown a bit more authoritative.

“He’s been watching. He knows we’re together. I think he just called to freak me out,” she said. 

“Sweetheart, you’re shaking,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “Don’t let him scare you. I won’t let him hurt you.” He pressed a kiss into her hair. “He’s just a pathetic little boy who wants to seem big. I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

“He said he’d hurt you,” she finally told him, tearing up as soon as the words had been said aloud. 

“Don’t worry about me. I promise I’ll catch him soon.” He kissed her and mentally vowed to take the asshole down.


	21. Bruce Gets Some

Bruce got into bed with Livy, rolled halfway on top of her, and began kissing her soundly. 

“I’m going to miss you,” he told her. She was going away to a librarian conference over the weekend, leaving the next morning. 

“I’m going to miss you too,” she said between kisses. The kissing continued for several more minutes, before he moved from her mouth to her neck. 

“Do you have to go?” he asked, gently kissing her skin. 

“Sadly, yes,” she sighed. 

“And I can’t come with you?” 

“I wish you could, but you should stay here. If anything happens with the element while I’m gone, it would be a good idea for you to be around.” 

“I guess you’re right,” he admitted, lifting his head to kiss her lips again. Then he kissed her cheeks. Her forehead. Her nose. He wanted to give her as many kisses as possible to hold him over while she was gone. She, meanwhile, had the sudden urge to rid him of his t-shirt, and snuck her hands under the fabric to push it off over his head. 

He now began kissing her lips again with renewed hunger while her hands ran up and down his back, and soon his hands had slipped under her to stroke a spot on her lower spine that melted her into a puddle in his arms. His hands found their way under her tank top and began stroking her chest, making her moan softly and push his pajama pants off. He kissed all the way down her sternum, then paused when she lifted her hips to press against his. He sighed against her skin and then raised his head to look at her. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, both of them knowing what would happen if things continued in this direction. She nodded yes and placed a kiss on his lips, then allowed him to pull her top off and continue kissing her chest. 

They began a slow exploration of each other’s bodies, clothes coming off in the process. Even when they were both completely undressed, they spent a long time just running their hands over every inch of each other, kissing each other everywhere, and finally, they did something neither of them had experienced in a long time. Afterwards, as she snuggled into his chest and he put his arms around her, they were both smiling happily as they drifted off to sleep.


	22. While Livy's Gone

“Livy,” Bruce said softly, rubbing her bare back. 

“Let me sleep longer,” she mumbled. 

“You don’t want to be late to the conference,” he reminded her. This was what she liked about him – he was so supportive. Even when she wanted to be a slacker, he wouldn’t let her because he knew she’d regret it later. 

She finally got up, dressed, and gathered up her bag. Felicia and Clint had awoken to see her off for the weekend, and Felicia handed her coffee in a to-go cup. The conference wasn’t super far away. It was only a few hours by car, but there wasn’t going to be cell phone reception or internet – the cheapskates who’d arranged the conference hadn’t bothered to book a place with wifi…or civilization. Therefore, she wouldn’t get to talk to any of them for two days. 

Bruce gave her a rather lengthy kiss at the door. 

“I’ll see you when you get back,” he said, not wanting to let her go. 

“Okay. I’ll miss you.” 

“Miss you too,” he said, giving her one more kiss. Then, she was on the road with her small bag and her coffee. 

Meanwhile, Clint and Bruce decided to dedicate their weekend to figuring out where this damn element was. 

*****

Felicia was searching her room for the element. Bruce was looking in the rest of the living room. Clint was in the kitchen. As Bruce was pulling out the couch cushions, he noticed a necklace caught under one of them. He recognized it as the one Felicia sometimes wore and grabbed it so that he could return it to her. That was when he felt it. 

“Clint!” Bruce shouted. Clint came running in. “It’s the necklace,” Bruce said, struggling to fight off the familiar sensation. 

“The necklace? The one Alex gave Felicia?” 

“Get an arrow,” Bruce said, trembling as if in great pain, bent over on the floor. 

“Oh, are you…shit,” Clint said, running into Felicia’s room to grab his bow. 

“What’s going on?” Felicia asked. Clint didn’t answer, just rushed out of the room, opening his bow with the flick of his arm. He nocked an arrow – he had a special kind that rendered the Hulk unconscious – and aimed it at Bruce. Felicia came out of her room and watched this all unfold. 

“Shoot me,” Bruce shouted, his voice coming out in a deep growl as his clothes began to tear around his bulging muscles. “NOW!” 

Clint didn’t need any more prompting. Just as Bruce’s skin was starting to turn a sickly green color, he released the arrow. The mostly-transformed Hulk roared in pain when the arrow pierced him in the bicep, then fell to the floor with a thump. A moment later, he changed back into the innocent-looking Bruce, dead asleep with his clothes in shreds. 

“That was close,” Clint said with a sigh, going over to grab the arrow out of Bruce’s arm. He had a pretty extensive first aid kit among his belongings that he sent Felicia to grab so that he could bandage up Bruce’s arm. He was glad S.H.I.E.L.D. provided its agents with such equipment while they were on the job. “He’ll have a sore arm when he wakes up, but at least he didn’t make a mess or hurt anyone.” 

“What happened?” Felicia asked, still completely lost. 

“He touched the element and almost turned into the big green guy. He knew it was about to happen, so he told me to grab my bow, knowing that I had an arrow that could stop him.” 

“So, he touched the Alexium? It’s in this room?” 

“Yeah. He said it was the necklace,” Clint said, grabbing the necklace by the chain and holding it up. 

“But I wear it all the time, I’m not always horny.” 

“It has to be the stone. When someone touches the stone, they get affected. See? The stone is embedded in gold plating in the back, so it doesn’t touch your skin when it’s around your neck.” 

“Are we sure it’s that? Have we all touched it?” 

“When it happened to me, you had just gotten off work. I came out of the tree I was sitting in…that’s right. I noticed your necklace on the ground, so I picked it up. When I put it back on you, I straightened it, and touched the stone, and then I couldn’t stop laughing.” 

“And right before I tried to seduce you the first time, I had just taken it off. I must have touched the stone when I removed it. And Bruce obviously touched it just now…but what about Livy?”   
“Livy…oh yeah, she asked to borrow your hairbrush, and then came out of your room crying…but she said she had admired some of your jewelry.” 

“That’s it,” Felicia said. It was all clear now. Alex had given her that necklace with an Alexium pendant, knowing that when she touched the stone, she would get in the mood and he could have his way with her. “Now we know where it is,” she said, “but what do we do about it? Alex still has some for himself, and we still don’t know what makes the effect stop. Does it just wear off, or is there something that counteracts it?” 

“The first order of business is making sure this thing is kept somewhere where none of us will touch it,” he said. Felicia got a ziplock bag and Clint dropped the necklace inside, then Felicia put it inside a hat she never wore and stored on a shelf in the top part of her closet. She figured none of them would touch it there, and they could figure out what to do with it later. “Now, we should probably get Bruce off the floor.” 

Clint held most of Bruce’s weight, and Felicia got his feet, and together they managed to get him onto the couch where he’d be more comfortable. When he finally woke up a couple hours later, they explained everything to him. 

“Anyway, I know I could go for a drink. Anyone up for going out for beer?” Clint asked. 

“I definitely need it,” Felicia said. 

“You guys go ahead,” Bruce said. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come? Will you be okay here?” Felicia asked.

“Nah, I’m fine. Have fun.” 

As soon as they were gone, Bruce sat up, dreading what he knew he had to do. This whole element situation had brought Livy into his life, and it was one of the best things to happen to him. Now he realized, it was one of the worst things that could happen to her. That necklace had almost turned him into the other guy, and if Clint hadn’t shot him in time, he probably would have hurt Clint and Felicia, maybe even killed them. He didn’t even want to think about what he could do to Livy. Who knew if the necklace was the only thing containing Alexium in that apartmen? What if he accidentally encountered it while he was with her? 

By the time Clint and Felicia came back from the sports bar, Bruce had completely packed up and left. He left a note for Felicia and one for Livy. Felicia opened hers. 

Felicia,   
Thank you for opening your home to me and letting me stay. You’ve been very kind to me while I’ve been here. After this afternoon’s incident, I thought it would be better if I’m not around. I don’t want you to be in a situation where I might hurt you or Livy. I hope Alex gets captured soon and that the Alexium will be contained safely. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Take care of Livy.   
Sincerely,   
Bruce

When she finished reading the note, she handed it to Clint, who read it quickly. They sat on the couch, shocked at this development. 

“So, he just left?” 

“It would appear so,” Clint said. “That’s the thing with Banner. He really beats himself up about the Hulk thing. The thought that he might hurt someone becomes too much, so he closes down.” 

“I get that, but…how could he do this to Livy? She’s going to be devastated. He couldn’t wait until she gets back and say goodbye to her properly? Instead he just leaves, like a coward?” Felicia demanded with righteous indignation on her friend’s behalf. 

“I’m not saying he’s right, but I’ve known him for a while. I guarantee that the first thing he thought when he woke up was, ‘Oh god, I’m a monster, I need to get away from Livy before I crush her skull’.” 

“What if we need him? Now that he knows what the element is, he could examine it and try to figure out how to counteract it.” 

“Maybe I can find him and talk some sense into him,” Clint reasoned. 

They agreed that Clint would try to track Bruce down the following day, and went to bed. However, Felicia had a hard time sleeping, because all she could think about was how hurt Livy was going to be, and if there was one thing that was not okay, it was somebody hurting her best friend.


	23. Livy Feels

“I’m home!” Livy said, dropping her bag at the door to deal with it later. Felicia and Clint were in the living room on the couch. 

“Hey,” Felicia said gently. “Did you…have a good weekend?” She wasn’t entirely sure how to bring up the situation.

“I had a great time, there was this one librarian who told this really funny story…where’s Bruce?” Felicia and Clint glanced at each other uncomfortably, and it took a moment before Felicia answered. 

“Livy, Bruce is…gone.” 

“Oh. Well, I hope he gets back soon, I can’t wait to see him,” she said, smiling at the thought. 

“No,” Clint started, seeing that Felicia had turned white. It was his turn to try. “No. Liv, Bruce isn’t coming back. He’s gone.” Livy’s smile fell as she processed this. 

“What do you mean?” she asked, confused. 

“He left you this,” Felicia said, handing her the note with her name scrawled on the outside. Livy hesitantly took it from her and opened it, flopping back onto the couch to read it while Felicia and Clint looked at each other uneasily. 

Livy,   
I don’t know how to say this. The time I’ve spent here with you has been better than I could have ever imagined. I wish I could see you one more time, but if I see you, I might not be able to leave.   
You always saw me as a man, and that’s one of the things I like about you. You never saw the monster side of me, and it made me feel like I could be with you; but no matter how much I try to hide from it, I can’t escape the other guy. He’ll always be there. That is why I had to leave.   
Felicia and Clint can explain everything better. I hope you know that I want you to be happy. Your life will be better without me in it. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, for caring for me, and for seeing me as the man I wish I could be.  
Love,   
Bruce 

By the time Livy finished reading this note, her eyes were welling up with tears. She handed the note to Felicia, and she and Clint read it while Livy sat in a dazed stupor, her eyes threatening to release the water that had gathered in them. When Felicia and Clint were finished reading the note, Clint decided to attempt to explain what Bruce had suggested he would. 

“Liv, while you were gone, something happened,” he said. Livy looked at Clint, trying to listen rationally before letting herself cry. Felicia sat next to Livy on the couch and wrapped her arms around her friend’s shoulders. “Bruce found the element, but when he did, he started turning into, you know…the not-so-jolly green giant. I managed to sedate him with an arrow before he could do any damage, but it was a close call. I think that’s why he left.” 

Livy took a moment to process this new information as the tears finally started to run down her cheeks. She took a deep breath before trying to speak. 

“So…he’s really gone? He just left? He didn’t say goodbye or anything?” Felicia shook her head. “He…I thought he…why doesn’t he want to be with me?” 

“He does,” Felicia promised. “But he’s worried because of the Hulk.” 

“I never cared about the Hulk. He knew that. I…we…” she stopped speaking in coherent sentences and just started gasping random words between sobs. Felicia gave Clint a look and he went to get Livy something to drink. He decided to bring both water and a glass of wine, not sure if she needed hydration or something stronger. While he was in the kitchen, Livy managed to pull herself together enough to say, “Felicia, before he left, we…we…slept together. What if I wasn’t good?” 

“Livy, that is so not it. I promise. Look, Clint’s trying to find him so that he can talk to him. We’ll fix this.” 

“What if he doesn’t want me? He didn’t even wait to say goodbye to me or explain why he was leaving.” 

Clint came back and Livy took a few sips of the wine, which was enough to calm her down enough to make her at least a little more intelligible. Then she chugged the water until it was gone and choked back more sobs. 

“I’m going to bed,” she said, still crying pretty heavily. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Felicia asked. “If you need anything, you can wake me up.” 

“Thanks,” she sniffled. She shuffled lifelessly to her bedroom door, then turned again. “Clint? Thank you for being so nice to me.” 

“I’ll find him,” he promised. She nodded, although didn’t look like she was holding out hope, and disappeared into her room where it can be presumed she cried half the night until she had drained herself of all energy and fell asleep. 

“Any luck getting him to answer his phone?” Felicia asked Clint once Livy was in her room. 

“No. I talked to Stark, though. Bruce is back at S.H.I.E.L.D. Apparently he’s still working on the element thing, just from his lab. According to Tony, the guy’s a hot mess.”   
“What are we going to do?” 

“As soon as I can get Fury to clear it, you, me, and Livy are going on the helicarrier. Livy at least deserves to have him look her in the eyeballs and tell her the truth.”   
Clint knew it was the only thing he could do. He just hoped it worked.


	24. Livy Copes

The next morning, Livy was as friendly and sweet as she always had been, although there was a forced, artificial aspect to it that just made it seem heartbreaking and a little frightening. She was the type of cheerful that made one think that the tiniest thing out of place, the smallest thing that went wrong would set her off into weeping hysterics. There was no mention of Bruce, the Hulk, or the incident. It was clear that Livy was handling the situation by Not Talking About It. 

“Livy…are you sure you’re okay?” Felicia asked as Livy was getting ready for work. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said brightly. 

“No, you’re not. I can tell your fake happy voice. I think you should call in sick to work.” 

“Why? I’m perfectly okay.” 

“Livy, call in. I know you, and I know that one little thing is going to remind you of Bruce and you’re going to burst into tears in the middle of the library. Just call them and tell them you’re sick,” Felicia insisted. 

At the mention of Bruce’s name, Livy teared up again. She grabbed her phone and told the library she wasn’t feeling well. 

The rest of the day was spent in bed crying some more. Clint worked on trying to get Fury to agree to let the girls onto the helicarrier, telling Fury that he needed S.H.I.E.L.D.’s resources but didn’t feel comfortable leaving them without protection. Fury reluctantly said he’d get the paperwork in order to grant them security passes, and that it would take a couple of days. 

“We’re all set,” Clint informed Felicia. “You get to see where I work.” 

“Good. I want to know everything about you,” she said, giving him a kiss. 

*****

Livy was back at work the next day. She was a little more lackluster than usual, but managed not to be a weeping ball of depression. She was actually doing a decent job of keeping her mind off of things…until Abigail arrived. 

“I missed you, Miss Livy! Miss Sarah said you were sick.” 

“Yeah, I didn’t feel very good yesterday.” 

“Did Dr. Bruce make you feel better?” she asked. Livy took a deep breath and prepared to talk about the one thing she didn’t want to think about. 

“No, he didn’t,” she said. “Abigail, Dr. Bruce and I…aren’t together anymore.” 

“You broke up? But you were so compatible!” she said, once again using a word that was way too big for her age group. 

“I know, Abigail, but sometimes it just…doesn’t work out.” 

“Miss Livy, how could he not want to marry you? You smell good and you always know the best books to read, and you’re pretty!” 

“Thank you. I don’t know why. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.” 

“Maybe he’ll stop being stupid and come back.” 

“I don’t think so, Abigail,” Livy said. Fortunately, Abigail’s mom came and Livy had made it through the first conversation about Bruce since he left. Just one more hour and she could go home, drink some wine, and eat all the cookies she could find.


	25. Hopeless

Clint got the nod from Fury on taking Felicia and Livy on the helicarrier, and the plan was to go as soon as Livy got off work on Friday. The rest of the week was business as usual, and Livy was functional, if not her usual bright-eyed and bushy-tailed self. 

The second she was done at the library on Friday, Clint and Felicia were waiting and ushered her into a car. 

“Where are we going?” she asked. 

Clint explained the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier to Livy, telling her that they were going to meet a Quinjet that would fly them to the larger aircraft. When she asked why they were going there, Clint paused before answering. 

“That’s where Bruce is. I thought you deserved to hear the truth from him. Face-to-face.” 

Livy didn’t have anything to say about that, so she just kept quiet until the car was parked. They boarded the jet, Clint got into the cockpit, and Livy nervously fiddled with a loose thread on the hem of her dress, tapping her foot. When Clint said they were getting closer to the helicarrier, Livy pulled a compact out of her purse and looked in the mirror, smoothing her hair. 

“Livy, you look fine,” Felicia assured her. “It’ll be okay, I promise.” 

Clint landed the jet on top of the massive flying craft and led the girls inside. First Clint introduced them to Fury, and then the three of them made their way to Bruce’s lab. Livy could see him through the glass, his back to them, looking at a big clear touch-screen. As soon as she saw him, she turned around. 

“I can’t do this,” she said. Clint stepped in front of her to block her way. 

“Hey. Yes you can. You don’t have to just take his cryptic note and move on with your life. You deserve to make him look you in the eyes and be honest with you. I’m not promising everything will be all fine and dandy, but if you don’t talk to him, you’ll always wonder what happened. Go in there and talk to him.” For some extra encouragement, Clint gave her a hug and a kiss on the top of the head. Felicia also gave her a hug. “We’ll be around the corner, in the first room on the right. Good luck, Liv.” 

Clint and Felicia disappeared around the corner, and Livy took a deep breath, and entered the lab. 

“Hey, Tony, can you come look at this—” Bruce said as he started to turn, then stopped when he saw who had just entered. “Livy,” he said, shocked. “What are you doing here?” She walked closer until she was in front of him, and had planned to play it cool, but now that she was looking at his face, she couldn’t and just started crying. Unable to just stare at her, he pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair. “You shouldn’t be here,” he said. 

“Clint arranged it,” she said, sniffling. “I had to know…I had to ask…what I did wrong,” she managed to choke out. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, pulling away just enough to look at her face. He let go of her so that he could use his hands to wipe some of her tears away. 

“That night before I went to the conference…was I not…good?” she asked as fresh tears came pouring out. 

“No! No, Livy, that night was perfect. You were perfect. That night, you gave me the best thing I could ask for. You made me forget what I am. I’ll never forget that.” 

“Bruce, I don’t care about the Hulk. I want to be with you.” 

“Livy, I’m dangerous. I know you’ve never seen it, but it could happen at any time. You’re better off pretending you never met me and finding the kind of guy you deserve.” 

“Don’t,” she said, her hurt turning to anger. “Don’t tell me to find someone else, as if my feelings can just be tossed from one person to another like a foam football.” Her voice softened again. “I’ve never met anyone like you.” 

“I’m sorry, Livy. You don’t know how much I wish I could be a normal guy and get to be with the woman I…” he couldn’t say it. If he said the L-word, it would be too hard to do what he had to. “Go back to your apartment and forget about me.” With that, he turned his back to her – the hardest thing he’d done in ages – and held back his own tears as he heard her struggling to breathe through her sobs. She left the lab, and as soon as Bruce heard the door close, he looked over his shoulder one last time as she turned the corner. Then he broke down.   
When Livy entered the room, Felicia and Clint stood up. 

“It’s over,” she said. Felicia went to hug her. Clint went for the door, giving Felicia a look to inform her that he was going to go try reasoning with Bruce. Clint returned after several minutes looking like he was 100% done with life. Figuring that the first order of business was dealing with Livy, he showed her to a room where she could spend the night, getting her into bed and bringing her some food. She didn’t seem to have much of an appetite, but he left it there in case she wanted it later. 

He brought Felicia to his room, where he collapsed onto the bed. 

“Have you ever seen a grown man weep?” he began. 

“No.” 

“I have. More times than I’d like to think about. It’s one of the most heartbreaking sights on earth. When I went into that lab, you should have seen what a wreck he was. He was on his knees, on the floor, bent over, his head in his hands. It was horrible.” 

“I don’t know what to do, though. He won’t listen to anyone. I honestly thought seeing Livy again would knock some sense into him, but it’s like it just made him more determined than ever.”   
“I asked Stark to talk to him – he’s closer to Banner than I am. I don’t know if it’ll work, though.” 

“I wish there was something we could do,” Felicia sighed. They laid down on the bed and Felicia cuddled into his chest. After several minutes, she lifted her head to give him a kiss. “You’ve been really sweet to Livy, you know that?” 

“Well, she’s your best friend. Not to mention a great person. It really sucks that this had to happen to her.” 

“I know, it shouldn’t be a novel concept that my boyfriend would be nice to my best friend. I’m just not used to it.” 

“You mean Alex Hoffdouche didn’t like Livy?” 

“No, he was always kind of an ass to her.” 

“How is it even possible to be mean to Livy?” Clint asked incredulously. “She’s a literal fairy tale princess.” 

“I don’t know. But it really means a lot to me that you’re doing all of this for her.” She started kissing up his neck. “I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you properly for being such a sweetheart,” she said against his skin. 

“I think you’re on the right track,” he told her.

She straddled him, unzipped his S.H.I.E.L.D. vest and ran her tongue along his collarbone, then started kissing down his chest. He spurred her on by pulling her t-shirt over her head, removing her bra quickly after and replacing it with his hands, which still had archer gloves on as part of his S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform. She sighed at the feel of the leather on her skin.   
Just as she’d gotten his pants off of him, he reached to take off his gloves. 

“Leave them on,” she instructed. He gave her a smirk and put his leather-clad hands back on her, sliding them all over her exposed torso. He enjoyed the reaction. While she was turning to putty in his hands, he took the opportunity to flip them over. He got her jeans off, and ran his gloved hands up her thighs, over her hips. He moved his hands all over her body, following with his lips and sometimes teeth, until he couldn’t take it any longer and removed the rest of their garments so that she could thank him properly for being such a great boyfriend.


	26. Alex is Captured

They returned to the apartment the next day, and Livy spent the remainder of the weekend walking back and forth between the fridge and her room in a daze. However, by Monday she was donning her favorite dress and was ready to give the library children her best smile, even if she wasn’t feeling it on the inside. 

On Monday, Clint went to work with Felicia as usual, and climbed his normal tree where he could keep an eye out for anything suspicious. When he got to the top, he noticed a folded piece of paper tucked between a couple branches. He opened it to find a note meant for his eyes only. At the top was two street names that made up an intersection not far from the girls’ apartment. The rest of the note was short:

Meet me at 2:00am, alone and unarmed, and I won’t hurt her. – A.H. 

He pocketed the note, but it consumed his mind for the rest of the day. He had promised Felicia he wouldn’t let anything happen to her, but he wasn’t sure he could promise her that nothing would happen to him. 

When they got back, he was a little quiet, but Felicia figured he must just still feel bad for Livy, and shrugged it off. At around 11:30pm, they drifted into the bedroom and Clint began kissing her passionately. 

“Woah, slow down, Cowboy. What’s got you so hot and bothered?” 

“You,” he said, moving his lips to her neck. “I can’t help it if I have such a sexy girlfriend.” He bit her earlobe, making her melt. He scooped her up and carried her over to the bed, rolling on top of her and kissing her deeply again. 

One thing led to another, and an hour later they collapsed apart on the bed, spent and exhausted. Felicia fell fast asleep not long after that, but Clint stayed wide awake.   
At 1:45, he got out of bed as carefully as possible, dressed silently in his S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform, and snuck out of the apartment. He walked to the intersection and stood in the middle of the deserted street. 

“I’m here,” he shouted, looking around. There was no one in sight. He heard a noise behind him and whipped around. Nothing. Suddenly, he felt the cold metal of a knife blade against his throat. “You know, you should really work on your people skills,” Clint informed Alex Hoffman.

“Nice cutting wit you’ve got there,” Alex said in his ear, not even realizing his own pun. “I get what she sees in you.” 

“Sorry, I’m taken. Plus, you’re not exactly my type.” 

“This banter is fun, but I’m not here to chit chat.” 

“Why are you here, exactly?” 

“My life was great until you came along. I’m here to eliminate you.” 

*****

Felicia awoke to find that she was alone in bed. 

“Clint?” 

She assumed he went to the bathroom and waited. However, when he wasn’t back in a few minutes, she got confused. Getting up, she threw on a robe and left her room, but the bathroom was empty and he wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen. Where did he go? 

For a brief second, she wondered if he’d pulled a Bruce, but then she saw all his stuff on her bedroom floor. Noticing a folded up piece of paper next to the jeans he’d been wearing earlier that day, she picked it up and read it. Then she started to panic. She looked at the clock. It was 2am exactly. 

Throwing on a pair of black pants and a black hoodie, she grabbed her keys and got ready to go after him. However, she couldn’t just walk up. Thinking quickly, she grabbed an arrow from his quiver as well as her Swiss army knife. It wasn’t much, but at least she was armed. 

She rushed to the intersection in the note, but when she got close, she knew she couldn’t just waltz in there. She had to have a plan. Keeping in the shadows and behind buildings, she put up her hood and tried to be as stealthy as possible. When she got close, she could hear the two men talking. 

“Killing me won’t make your life all sunshine and lollipops again, you know.” 

“Yeah, but it’ll sure be satisfying. I wish I could see the look on Felicia’s face when her precious Robin Hood is dead.” 

“I’m not the only one who’s trying to stop you. Killing me won’t get you off the hook,” Clint continued. 

“Oh, I can get by. You forget, I have my Alexium.” 

“I haven’t forgotten. Where is it, anyway? If a man compensates for his lack of balls by lording a rock over people, I’d be interested to know where he keeps his pathetic attempt for manhood.” 

“Ooh, big words for a man who wears yoga pants for a living.” 

“I’m flattered that you were checking out my ass, but like I said, you’re not my type. Still, you’re smarter than you look. Where are you keeping the stuff? No one can figure it out, not even our best scientist,” Clint continued. Most of these jokers would give away all their secrets with a little flattery. 

“Some of it, as you know, is in Felicia’s necklace. My personal stash is stowed safely away in a P.O. Box on Staten Island. It’s not glamorous, I know, but it’s not too far away and nobody would suspect it’s there.” 

“Where did you get it?” 

“There’s a mine in the Rocky Mountains. I discovered it while on a hiking trip there a year ago. Stashed some away in my backpack and the rest is history. I can’t believe I’m the only one who’s figured out what it does.” 

At that moment, pain shot through Alex’s leg as an arrow was stabbed into it. He yelled and dropped his knife as he fell to his knees. He turned to see who had impaled him as his vision went blurry. 

“Felicia?!” he mumbled in disbelief before collapsing unconscious onto the ground. Clint turned around and surveyed the situation, then smiled at Felicia as he saw what she had done. However, she did not smile back, and instead punched him hard in the arm. 

“Ow! What was that for?” 

“What is wrong with you? You can’t just leave in the middle of the night without a word and get into a dangerous situation with no way out. You could have died! I could have woken up tomorrow to find you gone and you would have never come back,” she ranted, tears welling up in her eyes. “You didn’t tell me anything, you just—” she was cut off by him grabbing her by the face and kissing her soundly. When he stopped, she had calmed down enough for him to explain. 

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know if this clown was listening in,” he informed her. “I left the note in plain sight on purpose, and left my arrows out in the open. I knew you’d put two and two together. My girl is smart like that.” 

“You knew I’d come after you with an arrow?” 

“Well, obviously, I couldn’t know for sure. But I left all the necessary pieces out there. I had faith in you to save me.” 

“How did you know I’d even wake up?” she asked.

“You always wake up at 2am, sweetheart. I don’t know why, you just do. You usually go right back to sleep, but I figured that if you found me gone, you’d look around and put all the pieces together.” 

“What am I going to do with you, Clint Barton?” she asked, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“I have some ideas,” he said, moving his eyebrows up and down. 

“You didn’t get enough earlier tonight when you ripped off my clothes and ravished me?” 

“I can never have enough of you, sweetheart,” he said with a genuinely sweet smile. “But sex can wait. We need to figure out what to do with this fool,” he said, kicking Alex’s limp foot.   
A phone call was made and Romanoff showed up in a Quinjet to collect the perpetrator. Clint told her about everything Alex had said regarding the element, and Natasha said she’d pass it on to Fury so that he could send some people out to investigate the situation. Clint said he’d meet with Fury in a couple days. 

Felicia and Clint started heading back to the apartment, his arm around her. 

“Do you have any idea how sexy it is that I just got rescued by my hot girlfriend from her crazy ex who was trying to kill me?” 

“Is sex all you think about?” she asked with a laugh. 

“No…sometimes I think about beer and food.” 

“Well, when we get back, I am going right back to sleep,” she said, although she knew that probably wouldn’t happen. There was nothing like a near-death experience to make one want to do unspeakable things to one’s boyfriend. It was a good thing Livy was too depressed and lethargic to object to the sex noises. They got back to the apartment and spent the rest of the night in bed, although sleeping didn’t happen for quite a while.


	27. Clint Has a Plan

The next day, Felicia had called in sick. Between the lack of sleep and the trauma from the previous night, she thought she deserved a day off. 

“I’m so glad this whole Alexium thing is being worked out and that Alex is locked up,” Felicia said to Clint as she gazed at him over her coffee cup. “The stress is over, I have a great boyfriend…if only Livy wasn’t so miserable, I’d be completely happy.” 

“Actually, I had an idea about that. I’m going to the helicarrier tomorrow to catch up with Fury, and I think I’ll look into it then.” He explained the idea to Felicia, planning to put it into action immediately. 

*****

Clint and Felicia rushed into the library on Thursday, their companion following close behind, partly because they wanted to make everything right as soon as possible, and partly because Clint wanted to see Princess Penelope in action. They stood at the back of the sea of children who were sitting on the floor. Livy was sitting on a couch in her pink princess dress, smiling down at all the children. Abigail was sitting front and center. 

“And when the naked Emperor saw everyone laughing at him, he learned his lesson and tried not to be so…” Livy trailed off when she saw who was standing at the back of the crowd of children. All of the kids turned to look at what she was staring at. “…vain. The end,” she finished. 

“Princess Penelope, who’s that?” a little girl asked, curious since he had interrupted the end of their story. 

“That’s Dr. Bruce!” Abigail said loudly. She stood up, ran to the back of the group, grabbed Bruce by the hand, and pulled him up to the front. Livy blushed and looked incredibly uncomfortable, refusing to meet Bruce’s eyes. 

“He can’t be a doctor,” a snarkly little boy said. “Princesses aren’t friends with doctors.” 

“Then who is he?” the same little girl from before asked. 

“This is…” Livy said. “Prince…Greenshield,” she improvised. It was a stupid name, but she had to come up with something on the fly. 

“Tell us another story, Princess Penelope!” another kid shouted. 

“I think Prince Greenshield should tell us a story!” Abigail said. Livy looked nervous. Bruce looked awkward. 

“Uh, I don’t know if Prince Greenshield knows any stories,” Livy said, giving him a why-are-you-here look. 

“Please, Prince Greenshield?” Abigail asked. 

“Uh…okay,” Bruce said, giving Livy an apologetic look and sitting down on the couch next to her. “Do you want to hear a story about me?”   
“Yeah!” they all shouted. 

“Okay. Once upon a time…I was in love with Princess Penelope,” he said, giving Livy a shy look. She blushed and looked into her lap. “I wanted to be with her, and live in her castle, and give her the prettiest flowers in the land. But a scary monster kept us apart.” 

“Did you kill the monster?” a boy asked. 

“I tried, but he wouldn’t die,” Bruce said. Livy now met his eyes, looking sad. “All he could do was fall asleep.” 

“So what did you do?” Abigail asked. 

“I searched all over the world for a way to stop the monster, but he kept coming back. The only way I can ever be with Princess Penelope is if I can be sure the monster won’t come and hurt her. Fortunately, I met a good witch who gave me a potion that can make the monster go to sleep for a long time.” 

In the back of the room, Clint whispered to Felicia, “Why am I the witch?” 

“Did the potion work?” a child asked. 

“I gave the potion to Princess Penelope, and any time the monster comes to get her, she can put him to sleep for a very long time. That way, we can be together,” Bruce said.   
“Are you going to live happily ever after?” someone asked. 

“I hope so,” Bruce said. By now, Livy was blinking back tears behind her smile. 

“Alright. Princess Penelope’s castle is closing,” Livy said. 

“Awww,” the kids said, disappointed. 

“I’ll see you all next week,” she promised. 

“Will Prince Greenshield come back too?” 

“We’ll see,” she answered. The kids dispersed, but before Abigail scampered away, she gave Livy a hug, whispering,

“I told you he’d come back.” 

When the kids were gone, Clint and Felicia made themselves scarce while Bruce asked Livy if he could talk to her. She took him into a study room so that they could talk privately.   
“That was a good story,” Livy said shyly. 

“It’s a true story,” Bruce said, pulling a small box out of his pocket and presenting it to her. She opened it up to find a small arrow about the size of a pen. 

“What is this?” 

“It’s loaded with a sedative that can knock out the other guy. It can be re-filled. If he ever decides to show up, you can stab him with this. He’ll go to sleep, and I’ll wake up.” 

“You made this for me?” she asked. 

“It was Clint’s idea. It’s a miniature version of one of his arrows.” 

“So, we can be together?” 

“If you’ll still have me,” he answered. “I shouldn’t have left like I did, I know that. I know I don’t deserve to-” he didn’t get to finish because she had thrown her arms around his neck and began kissing him lovingly. When she stopped, it took him an extra moment to open his eyes again. “I really missed that,” he finally said. 

“Come on. Let’s go get Clint and Felicia and go back to the apartment. We have a lot to tell you about the element,” Livy said, chattering happily as if Bruce had never left. They found Clint and Felicia making out in the newspaper archives where nobody ever went. Livy cleared her throat. “Let’s go home,” she said, going up on her toes to kiss Bruce on the cheek. 

They all walked to the car listening to a string of complaints from Clint. 

“I just don’t understand why I had to be a witch. Why couldn’t a handsome, strong warrior have given the prince the potion? Or a wizard? I could have been a badass wizard. Even an apothecary or something. Why a witch?”

“Oh, get over it, you’re being such a baby,” Felicia laughed as they all headed home.


	28. The Element

The two couples were sitting in the living room, cuddled up in pairs, and enjoying some red wine. 

“You have no idea how glad I am everything’s over with,” Felicia said. “There’s only one thing that’s still bothering me. What makes the effects of the Alexium stop?” 

“Oh, I think I figured that out the other day,” Livy said. Everyone stared at her. “It’s heat. You said when you were intensely making out with Tony—”

“I don’t want to hear about that,” Clint said. 

“You said it wore off. Because you got warmer. When I was affected, it stopped while I was under the covers in my bed and Bruce was holding me. It’s because my body temperature increased.”   
“What about me?” Clint asked. 

“When did yours wear off?” 

“When we got into her car…oh! I remember it was really hot because the car had been sitting in the sun all day.” 

“See? Heat,” Livy said, as if this were obvious. 

“How did you figure that out?” Bruce asked. 

“I had a lot of time to think while you were being stupid,” she said breezily. 

“I’m sorry,” he said for the millionth time, kissing her temple. 

“Should we test the heat thing? Just to be sure?” Felicia asked. 

“Yeah, but who’s going to volunteer to touch the necklace?” Clint asked. 

“Not it.” 

“Not it.” 

“Not it.” 

“Dammit,” Clint said. “Fine, but let’s do it tomorrow.”


	29. Sexy Times

As soon as he crawled into bed with her, Bruce pulled Livy to him and began kissing her lovingly, passionately, hungrily. He had to make up for lost time. When they came up for air, he just stared at her while her hands ran over his face, his neck, into his hair, over his chest. 

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Touching you to make sure you’re real. After you left, I would have these dreams that you were back in bed with me, just like this, and I want to make sure this isn’t one of those.”   
“It’s not. I’m not going to leave again,” he promised. 

“Bruce, when you told the story, you said that Prince Greenshield is in love with Princess Penelope,” she prompted. 

“I told you it’s a true story,” he said, kissing her again. 

“I love you too,” she smiled. They began kissing again quite frantically, and she rolled on top of him and then began kissing his neck while her fingers were threading in his hair. She straddled him and pulled his shirt off, then her own, and then captured his mouth again, her tongue sliding past his lips. His fingers found the spot on her lower spine that turned her into butter, and his other hand unhooked her bra. 

Next she worked on his pants, pulling them off with his boxers and scooting down to kiss his hipbones as he started breathing heavily. Finally, she removed her own remaining garments and they made love with the knowledge that they could finally be together without worry. 

*****

Meanwhile, Clint and Felicia were undressing and changing into their comfy clothes. 

“I’m so glad that Bruce and Livy are happy again,” Felicia said. 

“Me too, trust me. Even if Bruce did call me a witch.” 

“Would you get over the witch thing?” 

“Fine. Anyway, speaking of Bruce and Livy being happy, it just got suspiciously quiet in her room, and I’m a little scared that it’s the calm before the sex noises.” 

“Well, we can deal with it. The girl deserves to get her some,” Felicia said. 

“Actually, how do you feel about going to my place?” Clint asked. 

“Isn’t the helicarrier a little far?” she asked. 

“I’m not talking about the helicarrier…I’m talking about the empty apartment across the hall. I signed a lease yesterday,” he said a bit sheepishly, not entirely sure how she’d be reacting to this news. It took a moment for her to process it. 

“You did?” she smiled. 

“I was actually hoping it could be our place,” he confessed. “If it’s too soon, I can probably get Bruce to be my roommate, but I admit that when I did it, I was hoping that you would live with me and Bruce would move in here.” 

“I can’t believe it!” Felicia said, excitedly running over to him and kissing him. “It’ll be really easy to move my stuff, and I’ll still get to be right across the hall from Livy,” she began gushing. 

“So, you’ll live with me?” 

“Of course I will!” she said. He smiled and kissed her soundly, then brushed a stray strand of hair off her face. 

“I love you, sweetheart.” 

“I love you too, my witch.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head, but didn’t think it was the time to protest. Especially since there were some noises beginning to come from Livy’s room. 

“So, our place, then? There isn’t any furniture in there yet…” 

Felicia wrapped her legs around his waist and seductively whispered in his ear, 

“You can do me on our kitchen counter.” 

Clint needed no more prompting, grabbed his keys and walked them over to the apartment with her legs still around him. When he got to the door, he put her down to unlock it, then scooped her up into his arms. 

“I have to carry you across the threshold,” he explained. 

“That’s only if we’re married,” she laughed. 

“Whatever, I want to do it, killjoy,” he retorted. He kicked the door closed behind them and then began kissing her as he carried her to the kitchen in the empty apartment, setting her on the counter and following her up. They began frantically tearing at each other’s clothes, then Clint began kissing his way down her body until he reached her lower stomach, then began kissing up her thighs. When she was practically trembling with desire, he almost undid her by sliding up her body to bite her earlobe. Finally, he had mercy on her and they christened their new kitchen.


	30. The End

After they’d confirmed that the cure for Alexium was increased body temperature, S.H.I.E.L.D.’s weapon engineers began working on an arrow for Clint that could stick to someone and increase their body heat without puncturing the skin. Bruce and Livy helped move Felicia’s furniture into the apartment across the hall, and Bruce moved in with Livy. There was only one thing left to do. 

“Hello, princes and princesses. I am Princess Penelope. Welcome to my castle. Guess who’s here today?” 

“Who?” they all asked. 

“Prince Greenshield!” she said, and Bruce came out wearing a green cape and a plastic crown. 

“Yay!” 

“The castle is very full today. We have another guest, too!” 

“Who is it?!” 

“It’s the good witch who gave me the potion to put the monster to sleep,” Bruce told the children. And yes, poor Clint hobbled out in a raggedy shawl and a stringy wig. 

“Hello, children,” Clint said in his best old lady voice. Felicia had to press her lips together to keep from laughing hysterically. 

“Are there any more guests?” Abigail asked. 

“Just one more,” Livy said. “It’s Lady Braveheart, the most courageous warrior in the land. She defeated an evil sorcerer who was trying to control people with a magical rock.” Felicia appeared in plastic armor with a fake sword and shield. 

“Tell us the story!” Abigail demanded. 

So, they told the whole story. They took some creative liberties, of course. Clint was even a good sport about being the witch while Felicia got to be the fierce warrior, but then again, he found the lady knight thing kind of hot. 

“And they all lived happily ever after,” Livy finished, thinking that it was pretty close to being true, for now.


End file.
